i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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