I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
