i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
