Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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