the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
