They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
