I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
