So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
