just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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