Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
