I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
