I'm eating all of the evidence.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
