Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
