Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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