The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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