Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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