so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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