she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Did I show you my penis last night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize