i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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