I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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