i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
