Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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