I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
