Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
