There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
