we have officially lost it.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
