From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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