i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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