So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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