is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
