i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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