Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
