no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
