she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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