It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
