evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
