i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
