Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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