I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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