tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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