I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We need to get me chipped asap
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
