Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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