i just made my gag reflex go away.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
