Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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