this beer tastes like vomit already
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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