Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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