omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
