you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
