I think my vagina is haunted
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
