Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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