you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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