The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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