I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
