Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
