mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
