its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
