happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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