I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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